#it sounds like it should be really treatable

[tickldpnk8]

Listen folks, there’s really nothing like the comfort of a good fanfic after some of the shittiest news you can get. It’s so nice to be able to be able to bury yourself into fandom posts to take your mind off heavy thoughts. Thanks fandom fam.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Hi,

There's a stray cat (very friendly, no collar or anything) wandering our street and he's very skinny so we were thinking of trying to put out food for him and hopefully in a couple months take him in (or at least bring him to a vet to be neutered and released if not).

I was wondering if you had any advice / stuff to watch out for from your experience taking care of Diesel?

Not really. Cats that are socialised young enough are generally pretty easy to bribe with food over time, in my experience; if he's friendly, he should fall in love with you pretty quickly. (Cats that are unsocialised young will very occasionally socialise themselves but are almost always a waste of time, but it sounds like he's been socialised so you shouldn't have problems).

Don't touch him before he wants you to unless there's some kind of emergency (in which case, use a cat trap, but if there's no emergency don't bother); that's a great way to make him wary of you and also get bitten by his horrible plague mouth (cat bites are very prone to infection). Cats are generally easy beasts to deal with if you respect their autonomy and their personal space.

If he's outside and starving, he might have various fleas, internal parasites, and other minor but treatable health problems. Cats are particularly prone to a variety of worms, as well as eye infections. Your vet will tell you how to deal with these, and explain to you how to give him a dewormer and bathe him if he needs bathing (most cats don't ever need bathing, but if he's young and filthy he might need one when you take him in.)

Most socialised cats like to sleep inside where it is safe and warm, so if you feed him for a bit then there's a really good chance that you can just open the door one day and let him into your house. This is especially likely if he's lived in a house before. Some socialised cats who have secure lodgings already in some drainpipe or basement or something will avoid this, but in the vast majority of cases a friendly cat will happily just come inside. So you shouldn't have any trouble "catching" him, unless you have other cats or dogs in there that he might want to avoid.

The one thing that I would warn of is that most outdoor cats I've dealt with have had some level of PTSD. When Diesel started hanging out with me I had to watch him carefully to learn what sorts of things would make him panic (sudden movements or approaching him from specific angles, touching him when he is asleep), and what sorts of things triggered his hypervigilance and put him on high alert. The triggers are different for different cats; some hate enclosed spaces or heights (things that most cats love), or won't eat without somebody standing guard, or need to be able to see the door to the room at all times. These quirks are generally not hard to deal with; just don't do stuff to your cat that upsets them (unless you have to, like for medical reasons) and you'll be fine.

If you want information on anything complicated that shows up with him (unlikely; cats are generally very easy beasts to deal with), there's a wealth of great information from cat fosterers and rescuers on youtube.

[nothorses]

Wait do most guys on t not 'get soaking wet'? I mean I've always 'overlubed' a bit, but but I've been on t a little while now and I feel like I get wetter now than I used to, which is saying a lot. Am I that abnormal?

I'd say it's abnormal in the sense that it's not the common experience, but I don't think that means you need to be concerned about it.

"Vaginal atrophy" means a lot of things, but essentially, it's the same thing that happens during menopause (which also means that resources for people experiencing menopause are often helpful to people with vaginas on testosterone HRT). The hormones that keep that tissue healthy are no longer present in the way they used to be, so the tissue is atrophying over time.

My personal experience has been that while my libido went up & I experience arousal more frequently/intensely, my body's physical response to arousal- lubrication & relaxation of pelvic muscles for easier penetration- is pretty significantly reduced, and takes a lot longer to happen to the degree that I need it to in order for penetration to be comfortable. i.e., I am dryer and tighter. I also have found that I'm dryer overall, and sometimes feel itchy because of that; a little lube helped me go about my day when it first started happening, now I don't really notice it.

During my last pap smear, my doctor noted minor redness, inflammation, and irritation, which she said was typical of folks on testosterone HRT & wasn't anything to worry about. The skin is more delicate and easier to irritate, and that's about all.

You might be experiencing some but not all of the symptoms of vaginal atrophy, or you might be experiencing them more mildly, or you might be early enough in the process that it hasn't been noticeable yet. If you feel like you're actually lubricating more than you used to before HRT, I would also wonder if maybe your libido is just higher? But I'm not a doctor, let alone your doctor, and I have no way of making a worthwhile guess here.

If you're getting the changes you went on T for, like... "vaginal atrophy" is not typically one of the desirable changes anyway, and unless you actively want that, you probably don't need to worry about it. You can and should talk to a doctor if you're feeling concerned about any of this at all, though- I'm just sharing my own personal experiences.

Also, for everyone reading this:

"Vaginal atrophy" can sound scary, but

It's normal and natural, and it happens to everyone with a vagina who gets old enough for menopause to start,

It's entirely- and easily!- treatable, and

It's a reversible effect of testosterone HRT, and things will return to normal given a little time should you ever choose to stop.

You might consider asking your doctor about topical estrogen cream if you want to reverse the effects of vaginal atrophy without interfering with your T. This is also a common treatment for folks who go through menopause.

There are lubes out there specifically for folks experiencing vaginal atrophy as well; they're designed not to irritate fragile skin, and they can be helpful if you're experiencing a stinging sensation during penetration with normal lube (though again, talk to your doctor!! Please!!)

And as a side note: some people who go on T experience cramping (a lot like menstrual cramps) after a few years, and you can also often treat this with topical estrogen cream. I had some pretty severe recurring cramping that went away after a few weeks using topical estrogen cream. If a doctor tries to tell you that the only way to stop this cramping is by getting a hysterectomy, I would consider researching topical estrogen cream and getting a second opinion.

And lastly:

Talk to you doctor!!

[pygmi-says-hi]

I know you probably get a lot of asks about that injury post but I really need answers for a very specific scenario in my fic (it may have to change just because of how unlikely survival seems, but if you think it's possible then that saves me some trouble lol):

Character A is stabbed through the chest with a big ass scythe (like, the kind of scythe you'd see the grim reaper holding). It's meant to kill. The person who stabbed him would not want to keep the weapon lodged in the body, and pulls it out.

Character B is very closeby and almost immediately becomes aware of the event. He's able to whisk Character A (who, I would assume still has some strength to put pressure on his own wound, and would know to do so) to a safe spot that's just a short walk away, easy to get to, but of course a minute or so would have to pass for the attacker to be out of sight before they're able to escape to this space and all.

As Character A loses his strength, Character B would obviously have to hold the wound down. They can't go to a hospital, Character A is a wanted criminal. But his brother is a doctor that lives nearby.

Would the doctor be able to save him from the injury just using portable tools? How quickly would he have to arrive to the scene? Should Character B do anything more while they wait?

(btw, both of these characters are experienced with injury, it's like.. a hero/villain fic and whatever, Character A is an active villain while Character B is a retired hero so they know what they're doing but it's never gotten this bad before)

SORRY IM ASKING A LOT LOL

yes, I would love to help! and thank you so much for adding in context!!!!!!!!! you would not believe how hard it is to piece together requests when they only give me like two sentences lol. not a problem!

firstly, this sounds like a very interesting story and I would love to know who you are to read it.

secondly, let's figure this out!

Scythes are meant for slicing or cleaving, which means they do thin, deep lacerations. (idk how stabbing would work, some interesting physics right there). Therefore, Character A would defo need lots and lots of pressure on that wound. Lots of bandages and stitches.

Short answer; yes, doctors carry suture kits all the time, and if this doctor brother fellow carried a metric fuckton of gauze and medical tape, he might be stable enough to move to long-term care (not necessarily a hospital but at least a building).

My main concern would be the blood loss - all of your vital organs are in the torso, and so blood flow is concentrated there. Lots of blood loss and possible organ failure...not so treatable in transport. since I'm assuming the blade went all the way through (i.e entrance and exit wound), pressure on one side wouldn't help much.

To conclude, I would hold chances of survival as very very low.

the doctor would have to be on site really for any chance to be salvaged. Character B, if they've got a good head on their shoulders, would keep them awake and jam some mud or wet cloth into the wound. gross, yeah, but if it fits it ships. In that case, the doctor would also need disinfectant and some salves. (you can deal with infection later, blood loss is Top Priority)

But then again, this is fiction and you can manipulate it how you want. Good luck, and I will hope for the survival of this poor fellow!

[absurdthirst]

I need advice. You’ve always steered my right before ♥️

I’m so conflicted. Apologies for the essay but i genuinely don’t know what to do.

So, for context, my brother and his partner split earlier in the year. He was living with my parents for a few months before they split because they were having issues. He basically reverted to a teenager. Couldn’t be bothered to see his kids and just wanted to online game all the time. Fast forward to end of Feb, he has a massive blowout with my family and moves back home. It then later transpired that he had been cheating for months prior to all this and his ex kicked him out.

He now lives with my mum (parents are split) and hasn’t spoken to my dad, my husband or I for months (hubby and I didn’t absolutely nothing wrong). He sent a text the day we had our son (after his ex told him to) but that’s it. Radio silence. Taken zero interest in our son. Doesn’t seem to care about any of us.

My husband and I have always been super supportive and have tried to be as present as we can in his kids lives (we do live 2 hours away). His ex has met the baby. Took several trains to come visit and it took her 3 hours but he still, 2 and a half months on, has not bothered to visit (he can also drive). We met his daughter at a month old and his son was a week old.

Now to what I need advise on.

My mum, who I have a strained relationship with as is for many reasons but mainly because we have never been her priority, has been diagnosed with very early breast cancer.

Its completely treatable and hasn’t spread so honestly the best case scenario… but obviously still stressful. One thing to know about my mum, shes a pathological liar and has always used situations to gain sympathy but she has cried wolf so many times it’s hard to believe her when she is telling the truth. She has lied about having cancer once before. She had a benign tumour removed… then changed her story later to say it was cancerous despite telling us initially it wasn’t. I know it is true this time though, only because a close family friend confirmed it.

However, its her birthday in September and she wants us all get together for lunch. As you can imagine I have very mixed feelings about this. As much as i understand she wants her family together, i don’t particularly want to spend an afternoon with my brother. Before this all happened i had told her that we will go but we won’t bring the baby if my brother doesn’t reach out first. She said she’d have a word with him but he still hasn’t.

She’s now trying to use this situation as a way to manipulate me into getting her way but I feel really strongly about him not being introduced to my baby until he demonstrates that he actually cares about him. I grew up feeling very unwanted by my mum and I don’t want that for my child. So I am still set on trying to get someone to take care of him if he still doesn’t reach out.

Am I being unreasonable here? My husband thinks I should just suck it up but I honestly don’t think he gets how hurt I am 😔

Nope. You aren’t required to bring your baby around a potentially toxic situation.

It sounds like your brother has the emotional maturity of a child and he knows he was wrong and refuses to own up to it. He’s too busy living his life how he sees fit.

Given that he’s had no interest in your family, you have no requirement to bring your baby around him. Your mother sounds great. Like my grandmother and I’ve lived less than 40 minutes from her for the past year and I’ve seen her one time. Only for her to lie about me and I’ve not spoken to her since.

You want to protect your child from the heartaches you lived through. There isn’t anything wrong with that.

Although, anon, I do advise you to perhaps speak to a therapist for the feelings from your childhood and for some tactics to set boundaries with your family and deal with their toxicity.

Congratulations on your baby! 💜

[3mcwriting]

Check You Out

He was back again, Captain America.

Though that's not how you actually knew him. You knew him as the shy man that always said please and thank you when checking out his books. The man who would sit in the corner of the library, reading World War II books until you finally recommended some other types to him

He came often, at least 5 times a week always greeting you with a, "good evening, ma'am" or a, "how are you, miss?" Always waiting patiently for a response and smiling shyly at you.

And whenever he picked out a book he'd ask you if you had read it. Oftentimes, you had, but sometimes it would be a book you hadn't read and he would ask, "Well, if you'd like, ma'am, you can read it with me?" His voice would be unsure but always polite.

And on days when there weren't many people, you would accept, sitting with him at the window seat and flipping through the book. And the first time he forgot about his shyness was when your friendship was finally solidified.

He had been checking out a book about medicine.

"I'd like to check out this book, please."

"Of course, so you're interested in the medical field?" you asked him, scanning the book and handing it to him.

"Yes, ma'am, when I was younger we didn't have all this stuff and it's interesting. I had a couple of illnesses that weren't really treatable then and now they are so, it's amazing how much knowledge has been gained." He stopped, looking sheepish. “Sorry, I'll stop. You probably don’t want to hear me ramble.”

"What? No, don't stop. It's nice to see you so passionate about something. Normally you just sit in a corner and read your book, you're very reserved sometimes. Also, I think it’s an intriguing topic."

"Oh, are you interested in medicine too?"

"I'm actually in medical school right now, so, yeah, you could say that."

"Wow…” he breathed, looking awestruck. “That's amazing, so do you think..."

And you had spent the afternoon talking about the wonders of healing people. He was genuinely fascinated by it, seemingly in awe at the possibilities of how a person could heal others.

"So why do you come here?"

"Huh?” he asked, face screwed up in confusion.

"Well, this library is kind of out of the way and there are closer ones to Stark tower."

He gaped, making you laugh. "What? You think I didn't know you're Captain America? The shades and hood don't really hide you all that well."

"I just though since you didn't treat me any different than anyone else you didn't know." He looked embarassed.

"Well I assumed you didn't want to be, you came here to read just like anyone else here so why should I treat you different. But back to my question, why do you come to a library so out of the way?"

"I used to go to this library when I was younger," he said hesitantly.

You nodded. "Has it changed much?"

"Not really, everything is in the same place except the computer tables used to be just more bookshelves. Oh, and the lighting is new," he said, looking around.

Since then, he would always asks for recommendations, and often would stay until you closed up.

You snapped out of your thoughts, looking at the man in front of you. "How can I help you?"

"I'm so glad you asked. Why don't I take you back to my place and you'll find out. How's that sound, baby?"

You wrinkled your nose at the scent of alcohol and BO. "If you're not going to get a book, please leave."

"Oh, don't be like that honey I'm sure we can work something out-"

"She said to leave." An angry voice was heard.

"Chill,man, why do you care? Is that bitch yours? Damn you tapped that ass, you lucky-"

He stopped when a fist collided with his jaw, throwing him to the floor. Steve stood there, glaring at the man with rage in his eyes. "Don't ever call her a bitch and you better not ever go anywhere fucking near her or you'll end up with something worse than a broken jaw."

The sleazy man ran out of the library so fast he tripped out the door, all while holding his jaw and cursing Steve which only made him curse more when it hurt.

"You know, I had that covered. But still, thanks.”

Steve said. “I just can’t believe that after all this time people still feel like they can treat women so lowly. I know you had it covered though, so I’m sorry for making a ruckus in here. It’s just makes me angry.”

"Yeah, I noticed, I've never heard you swear before." Even on the days when he came back after missions and he was clearly stressed he never lashed out.

He flushed. "Sorry about that."

"Don't be, it was amusing. Plus that guy definitely got what he deserved, I'm not the only woman that's been hit on by him while he's drunk off his ass and is about as crude as a caveman."

"He's done that to other women too?” His voice got even angrier.

"Yeah, he's a sleaze."

He was clearly about to go out there and beat the man up, so you grabbed his wrist gently. "If you beat that guy up I'm going to have to suspend you from the library and I don't want to lose my favorite regular."

He blushed, almost forgetting about his previous angry thoughts when you said he was your favorite.

~~

"So, what will you be checking out today?" you asked Steve, stepping behind the counter.

"You." He blurted out, eyes widening when he realised what he had said. "I-I mean, uh I meant-"

You laughed. "Calm down, Rogers, it's ok."

He flushed, rubbing his neck sheepishly. "Well that wasn't how I wanted to ask you out." His eyes widened again, realising yet again what he had said.

You grinned at his expression, "Well how about you ask me out the way you wanted to?"

His jaw dropped, you laughed. This man just couldn't get a break from being shocked. And to you, it was extra hilarious because here was Captain-freaking-America looking like a shocked toddler.

He cleared his throat. "Would you go out with me?"

You winked at him, "I thought you'd never ask."

[thewickedbohemian]

Thoughts on a Brilliant Minds that felt like Valentine's Day in November (like how places do Christmas In July) and hit me really hard in the feels in a way that felt personal somehow (despite me being a-spec and not a gay man)

great transition into older young Oliver

you can tell they know what they did

nice little Spock motif shenanigans given who she is

I'm worried he's going to have to tell her he's gay

don't flatter yourself Jacob

good to see the show being sex-positive but don't be so sex-positive you miss the problem

speaking of positive I was expecting more awkward and more slow burn, that was fast (more Fleve parallels, they also didn't really slow-burn despite being the kind of procedural couple that normally would)

the girl gets around

I feel like this is reminiscent of some gay romcom

getting shades of Ramona Nowitzki

I'm with Nichols on the fork thing (but I actually have the excuse of low DEX Wolf accused him of)

tests negative so what's the answer

oh shit shit just got real

thankfully it went away on its own

hmm...the plot thickens

little gay romcom montage and I love that song

Ericka feeling really a bit like Annie did in Community S1E11

I was half expecting Van to walk by the window after Jacob

Dana sounding a bit like Garcia (in the way Jacob does Troy)

and how is Whitaker spelled

things just got weirder but at least she isn't that kind of stalkerdoodle

neurosyphilis, never heard of that but didn't expect the kind of weird disorder that'd be the diagnosis of the week to be that easily treatable

same dilemma all over again

obligatory shirtless Jacob in relevant discussion

Dana plays Catan and considers it on par with sex, I like her even more despite being a-spec so I can't compare

not in the elevator (and even though that's only kissing I'm hearing the "We Tapped That Ass All Over This House" song from Crazy Ex-Girlfriend in my mind)

bad timing mom

that was not the reaction Wolf was expecting

finding a compromise perhaps in parallel

expecting a "the talk" (and got confirmation it's Landon not Langdon, I swear her nameplate said Langdon the first time)

okay now things got a little weird (and I don't know if this means it's going to go back to slow, they're hitting a Fleve-esque speed bump or Nichols is really the one hiding hurt)

cue Wolf's Big Dramatic Monologue and mom getting a little bit Mother Gothel

not saying she was interested in her that way but didn't Allison's words to Pierce seem a little weird for a patient (even one with their history)

not the guy I was expecting at Ericka's door (and now I'm rotating the idea of future throuple around in my brain again)

you guys just talked about special food orders and watching Star Wars, don't get right to bed and let the food get cold (and what's the name of that needle drop, I can tell it had lyrics but the dialogue kinda drowned them out)

speed bump patched over and there goes "Heartbeats" again something something full circle something something loom of fate (and now whatever us Brilliant Minds fans call ourselves (as I don't know if we should use any term also used for characters like how Librarians fans call themselves LITs) have even more of an "iconic song" in the sense a lot of other fandoms have)

[reorientation]

Iv been scrolling get hornier and hornier.. it doesn’t help that I’m in denial.. no orgasm for me. I also think I am a lesbian but my mind doesn’t want to accept it. Iv tried so hard to accept it but it’s like I physically can’t. I have slept with men but most of the time I feel nothing, sure I’ll suck his cock because he asked or told me it would make him so happy and ofc I’ll swallow his cum but I’m just so tight in my cunt that my body refuses to have a dick in me. Guys have tried but they can only get the head in at the most! Iv been just so horny and feel my cunt feels so empty I bought a dildo which should come in like two days… it’s such a mindfuck.. like am I gay? Woman make me cum harder but there was one guy who made me cum so much but I never craved his dick in me we tried but it just didn’t go in.. idk what’s wrong with me?

-🦋

I'll be honest, this one's kind of all over the place from a kink perspective and I don't know what to do with it, so I'm just going to answer it honestly.

It sounds like you have vaginismus. It's not uncommon, and from what I understand pretty treatable with a combination of mental techniques (anxiety reduction, etc) and physical exercises (learning how to relax muscles, practicing a bit at a time with a vaginal dilator). You're not going to fix it by just trying really hard to have sex, though.

You might be a lesbian if you try to have sex with men a lot and usually don't feel anything, yeah, although maybe you're just really raising the stress level by focusing on attempted penetration. You might also be somewhere on the asexual spectrum: "I'm happy to please partners and can feel pleasure during sex, but don't really feel sexual desire towards people in real life" is a thing some people experience. Or you might just be having a bad time. It's complicated! Read Come As You Are or something if you want to try to figure it out.

Probably not what you were looking for, but hope it helps.

[ducky531]

I love doing research for my ocs :3

So apparently this was a flop over on Cara (aka, I think that I jsut posted at a time that no one was on, so they didn't really notice the post, lol) so I'm posting it here because I really want you peeps to know how much love I actually put into making my ocs!

So, I've said on all of my platforms, all of my ocs do have disorders or medical issues in one way or another. And with each of these disorders, I actually do a thorough amount of research before I officially post the information. (And yes, Lee's info is actually out. I posted it up on my Wattpad. Just as an fyi, you will be a minute reading all of it. There's a lot, lol) So, I'm just going to jump right into things. Up first on the roster is their blood types. I know, I sound crazy, but surprisingly, there is some research that goes into the blood types I assign my ocs. It depends on if they have a blood disorder (such as Pandora and Tonta with their heart problems) or their personality traits. Yes, you heard- well, read- correctly. Their personality traits actually play a HUGE part into their blood types. There are studies out there that a few groups have done that proves certain blood types have generalized similarities in personality traits. In Lee's information, I have her listed as A- for her blood type because people with that blood type actually are very introverted people. They're independent to an extent and are very reserved. To those of you that have read up on her (or have followed her development since day one of me creating her-) you can't say that DOESN'T describe her.

I also do research into the names as well. Lee's full name is Lee Ganji, which when translated separately, her first name translate to 'meadow' while her last name translates to 'two beginnings'. This plays a huge part in her info since her own crew's name she was originally the captain of was the 'Meadow Pirates', and after she lost them she got recruited to Kidd's crew- hence the reasoning for her lasty name.

In the way of medical problems, Lee has VCD (Vocal Cord Dysfunction). This is actually something I have, and it is pretty common. Basically, it's a condition that mimics asthma but directly causes the vocal cords to flutter and cause breathing issues. No, it's not a birth defect/ something you're born with, and yes it is treatable through simple speech therapy (or other medical protocol/ therapy). A lot of the time, this can happen from basic things like coughing, your drink 'going down the wrong way', and multiple other reasons.

However in Lee's case, because she doesn't talk very much, VCD is something she's pretty much stuck with. Now for her information, I did make it a bit more dramatic and have it play into a lot of the reason she doesn't talk. Is it that intense in reality? No, not really. (Like I said, I have it, and I still run around like an unhinged maniac on days since sitting still isn't an option, lol. All it does is effect your breathing mostly.) (I've also recently found out that vcd does occur more commonly in women than men, and even more so with women that has phycological problems. Unfortunately, this is also accurate to Lee's info since she does suffer with survivor's guilt.)

As for Pandora and her son, Tonta, their medical condition is quite…unique. And yes, this is also an actual thing. So, getting into their info, Pandora and Tonta were both born with their hearts on the right side of their chest instead of the left. This is a lot of the reason as to why Pandora has multiple scars on the left side of her where her heart 'should' be.

In reality, less than 1% of people in the world actually have this, and unfortunately, this does come with quite a few health risks. (How wouldn't it? Your body basically decided to play Yahtzee with your insides and mixed everything up. Of course there's going to be major repercussions with it.) The official name for this is 'dextrocardia'. And one of the main side effects that go along with this is 'Pallor'. To sum this up, this is a condition where the skin appears paler than normal. This actually has a lot to do with Pandora's appearance. While Tonta doesn't have it, Pandora does because 1. There are a few female problems that do tie into Pallor, and 2. She is the main and first family member to have dextrocardia. Hence the reason it's a lot stronger with her than Tonta. Now, does that mean it's hereditary? No. Somehow Tonta ended up with the same problem by luck, not genetics. So, in other words, Tonta and Pandora have their hearts on the right side of them by pure coincidence, not by hereditary development. (Their family's curse, however? Now that's a different story entirely-)

As of currently, I am in the works of fleshing out Bernice's info since she's my favorite little gremlin bean. (But to be fair, I have too many videos I plan to make of memes for her and Thatch just sharing a brain cell, so as of currently I don't really have any medical conditions really thought out. I mean she does eventually take phycological at some point n her info (and it double dips in the canon timeline to One Piece with what happens to Thatch :( ) But I think that she'll actually be a perfectly healthy oc for once with no problems! :D

Ack, I'm glad that I finally got to share that in its entirety! >v<

Also! Since I am still holding out until the first of this year to grind out art, here are the pictures of each of my ocs in case you don't know who I'm babbling on about!

This is a WIP, but this is Lee (She is normally shipped with Heat on Kidd's crew.)

This is Bernice, She's a revolutionary, but eventually becomes an ally to Whitebeard's crew since she doesn't want to become a nurse or cook on the crew and wants to keep her ability to fight (She ate a devil fruit. of course she's gonna want to fight >:3)

The mean looking lady is Pandora, and the boy is her son. She's a Marine Admiral. She's neutral and humane with criminals. But if you even threaten to touch her son, civilian or criminal, Just know you'll be losing more of your arm than Shanks did to a sea king. (The woman's known for her strength with just her bare hands and has, in fact, ripped a man's arm clean off up to the shoulder joint after testing her :D)

[tennymariya]

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[rottenbutrecovering]

Hey Donnie, we are going over personality disorders in my psych class at college. Reading through my prof's slideshows it seems like her way of describing them, espesically BPD, as super negative. For example, several bulletssay stuff like "blame others for their problems" "extremely difficult to work with" "know their behavior causes issues but are unwilling to change" etc... did they also teach you this stuff in uni about BPD or is it just me that this all sounds like negative stereotypes?

Unfortunately I had a very similar experience. Many psychologists are so so biased against people with BPD. Hell, I wrote my dissertation on BPD stigmatism in Psychology students and mental health professionals!

For me, the worst example was when my tutor said that children who grow up to have BPD deserve to be neglected/abused because we are "difficult". She genuinely said that. And she was the lecturer who specialised in personality.

Even a lecturer I previously really liked, who is literally a therapist, peddled the same shit.

It is so frustrating, because they should know better! They have 0 excuses to not only hold these dangerous ideals, but actively teach them to the future of psychology!

A lot of it is also bullshit! Many psych professors claim that BPD is this hard to treat monster disorder where we never want to recover. But that's not true! BPD is SO treatable! Studies have shown that with treatment over 80% of us will reach recovery/remission!

Anyway, please excuse the rant - as you can tell I'm very passionate in my frustration of how psychology professors treat PDs haha

[wonlouvre]

pairing: doctor!wonwoo x lawyer!female oc genre: modern royalty, arranged marriage, fluff and future angst word count: 2.8k WARNINGS: hospital, injury, child trafficking, child abuse, hostage taking, guns, police, violence

author’s note: we have reached part 4!!! i think our couple’s relationship development is quite slow. please bear with me/them, they’re getting there!!! :’((( also, i am still very much thankful and overjoyed for the kind feedback that you guys gave for the previous chapter. i hope you guys are looking forward for this one. enjoy!!! :)))

four: let’s get you home, princess | masterlist

Wonwoo is not addressed as Your Highness inside the hospital premises. It’s actually rare for him to hear Your Highness ever since the royal decrees have been relaxed. His close friends, family and even colleagues have been calling him by his name or profession for the longest time. However, the King and Queen still must be addressed with utmost respect, regardless of who the person may be to the Royal Family. 

Things just got different when he started living and working at your kingdom. He had said that it’s okay for him to be called Wonwoo most especially by senior doctors who have been practicing even before he was born. But it was still awkward so they stuck with Dr. Jeon. These days, some young residents and interns still stutter and it just makes Wonwoo laugh. 

From time to time, Wonwoo is withdrawn from the hospital because of his duties as the Prince. Duties such as to make an appearance, attend a meeting or speak at an event. Said duties usually eat up most of his days in a week. Days where he could and should have been at the hospital, doing what he pledged to do until he dies. 

Wonwoo is loyal to the crown, but he is also committed to the people he promised to serve. 

The wedding planning has started and he’s relieved that you and him both have reached an agreement to hire a full-time planner that will arrange whatever the desires of your hearts may be. He’s grateful that just like him, you are happily married to your job. It’s a lame joke, but Wonwoo can never be bothered to care. So far as the wedding planning goes, you have been looking at venues such as hotels, private gardens or beach resorts. Initially, his parents offered to hold the wedding at their kingdom but you humbly requested to have it at your homeland instead. 

It was no issue to the King and Queen, definitely understanding where you were coming from.

Wonwoo admires that side of you. You seem to always know what you want and when you do, you speak up at the right time with elegance and confidence. He believes it’s the lawyer and princess in you altogether. 

The thought of you puts a smile on his face. He hopes you wake up soon so he can see you.

“Wonwoo?” 

His thoughts popped like a bubble when his name was suddenly called. He clears his throat and faces the owner of the voice. It was Soonyoung and by the looks of his grin, Wonwoo’s sure he witnessed him daydreaming. 

Wonwoo rolls his eyes and goes back to the charts he’s been reading. “What do you want?”

“That’s not how you return the favor of your friend who brought you a fresh batch of clothing,” his friend chides, bumping his shoulder against his tall friend. “You seemed to have had a great night, our Prince.”

It’s trivial, really. But Wonwoo’s cheeks blushed at the reminder. He will never tell anyone but staying with you yesterday until the early hours of today made him feel something he doesn’t know. It’s absurd how he can’t pinpoint what that something is, but he won’t deny that there is. 

“Shut up,” he grumbles like a child, ignoring the cheeky giggle Soonyoung emits. 

Speaking of Soonyoung, he was born in your kingdom and moved to the neighboring one when he was only a baby. Both his parents are doctors also who have the heart and passion to offer their services voluntarily. They were only set for a medical mission before going back in a month, but the King and Queen (Wonwoo’s parents) recognized and applauded their kindness, offering them a place to stay and permanent positions at their Royal Hospital. 

Being of the same age, Wonwoo and Soonyoung grew up together and became best of friends. 

It’s no question that he’s attached to the Prince wherever he goes. 

“Dr. Jeon,” another voice calls for him and this time, it sounded desperate. 

Wonwoo looks up and finds a young resident, looking disheveled and stressed. “What is it?”

“I have a young boy, 10-11-years-old, crying in pain while clutching his left arm,” she explains the basics before continuing, “He was brought by someone who seemed like his brother not older than 14-years-old. They weren’t accompanied by anyone.”

“Ask for their names and address,” Soonyoung suggests while standing straight and crossing his arms. “I’m sure we can find some contact details from the statistics office.”

The young intern shakes her head. “They’re not talking. All the older boy is saying, begging rather, is for us to help them.”

“X-ray?” Wonwoo asks and pumps some sanitizer on his hands. 

“The result is on the way.”

Wonwoo nods and starts walking to where the boys are. “Let’s see what we got then.”

The emergency department is always hectic and anyone that says otherwise is unbelievable. Regardless of what the case may be, Wonwoo stands that if they are brought here, it is an emergency. Usually, they range from new parents bringing their newborn baby who can’t stop crying in the middle of the night or some bringing their seven-year-old for a cast because they fell off the bike while playing with their friends. They all seem to be treatable and can be discharged in an hour or so. But sometimes, you can never be too sure. 

Wonwoo knows because he has witnessed it already. That one baby that’s been crying was actually fighting a fever and that one kid who fell from the bike? It was having trouble with his balance and movement. 

It’s not the first time that young children came to the hospital by themselves. They’re soon followed by their parents or guardian afterwards most of the time. Wonwoo supposes the kids this time around are in shock that they can’t form any clear thoughts at the moment. 

But Wonwoo doesn’t think that’s the case at all once the curtains were pulled open. 

“Oh my,” Soonyoung blurts out, surprised. 

Wonwoo expected two boys looking dirty and blushing from playing under the sun all throughout the day. He expected them to be silently crying for their mom or dad. He expected them to be at least healthy and on their way for a speedy recovery once they got treatment. But no, Wonwoo was wrong.

The boys looked awfully hungry and dehydrated. Their clothes were smaller than what their body looks like and the older brother is missing one pair of his shoes. He noticed bruises on some parts of their body. There’s even a nasty cut on the older boy’s bottom lip. 

Something’s wrong and Wonwoo is not a fool to not notice it. 

Wonwoo releases the breath he’s been holding and smiles genuinely. “Hello, I’m Wonwoo.”

Silence. 

He looked at Soonyoung before proceeding to meet the boy’s height who’s sitting on the chair beside his brother’s bed. “I’m going to take a look at your brother now, if you don’t mind.” 

The older one finally looks at him, his eyes dead serious. “That’s what they have been saying ever since we got here. Why can’t you just treat him already?”

“Hey, it’s okay,” Wonwoo tries to calm him down, noticing his tear-stained face and shaking voice. “Your brother will probably need a cast. We’re just waiting for the x-ray results to come out to know for sure. I just need to ask some questions, alright?”

The boy’s bloodied lip trembles as he nods his head. 

“I’ll go get the result,” Soonyoung says and leaves without forgetting to close the curtains.

“What’s your name?” 

“They call me Jung,” the boy answers, weak and unsure. He then points at his sleeping brother, “He’s called Sam.”

Wonwoo’s brows furrow in both confusion and doubt. Why wouldn’t they have official names? Looking at the brothers’ state all over again, it didn’t take Wonwoo long to comprehend what’s really going on. He turns his head to the resident and locks eyes with her, who’s already grasping the situation at hand. He then gives her a nod, signalling her to immediately call children’s services.

Once she leaves, Soonyoung arrives with an envelope. 

“It’s a fracture, but won’t need surgery,” He says happily and Jung sighs in relief. 

“But, you’re staying here for a while,” Wonwoo takes hold of the envelope from his friend. “We just need to run some more tests.”

Soonyoung looks at his friend with wide eyes asking, what are you talking about? But Wonwoo ignores him and keeps his smile in the hopes that the boy doesn’t grow any more agitated.

“Your brother is okay,” he assures Jung and squeezes his shoulder. “We’ll put the cast on his arm and clean the cut on your lip shortly. Stay here, okay?”

He pushes his friend out after the boy gives them a nod. Soonyoung was still glaring at him at the nonsense he spewed out earlier. Wonwoo puts a finger on his lip, gesturing for him to not say a thing yet until they move to somewhere more quiet. 

“What is going on?” Soonyoung whispered-shouts when they reached what seemed to be the fire exit. “What tests are we still running?”

“It’s a lie,” Wonwoo answers and smooths the lines on his forehead, thinking and thinking on what he should do. “We need to keep them here. I think… they’re victims of abuse and trafficking.”

Soonyoung’s jaw drops while his legs grow weak, making him stumble. This is nothing new to them. But even so, it still makes him sick to the stomach. He just nodded as he didn’t need to say anything else.

“I already asked for children’s services and they could arrive here anytime soon,” Wonwoo continues. “They looked like they escaped. I won’t be surprised if someone suddenly barges here, claiming they’re the parent or guardian.”

“What do we do when that happens?”

“We keep them safe,” he answers firmly. “No matter what.”

Every staff at the Emergency Room was alerted about the situation of the boys. Authorities were also called and they’ll be arriving soon. Wonwoo gave strict orders to not disclose any information about them to anyone who claims they are the parent or guardian. Any affiliation they assume is not acceptable unless they can prove it. 

The boys were transferred to a ward once Sam’s treatment was done. Wonwoo brought them some food, water and spare gowns to rid them of the excuse of clothes they’ve been wearing for who knows how long. It’s unbearable to imagine what they have gone through but seeing them get comfortable is enough to bring some peace to Wonwoo’s mind. 

He requested Soonyoung to stay with them or at least check on them from time to time and make sure no one goes inside their room other than the designated staff. He just needs the representative of the children’s services to arrive and they’ll start knowing what the next steps to take from there. 

Now that’s settled, Wonwoo can now go back to his routine and job.

Or not. 

“You’re Highness.”

His security detail stands before him, complete and blocking his way to the elevator that could bring him back to the Emergency Room. Wonwoo can notice the tense and nervous expressions on their faces like children about to admit the trouble they just caused. He had requested before that they be posted on the sides to not hinder him from working. They’re only to jump into action when it’s life threatening and by the looks of it they’re here in his face just to do that but he still asks.

“What are you doing here?”

The head of the group bows his head. “The Emergency Room is being held hostage by armed men. We need to leave as soon as possible.”

Wonwoo’s heart almost felt like it stopped beating. “No.” 

He needs to move. He needs to go back there. He can’t just leave.

Wonwoo forces his body against the men standing firm on their positions, only to be held back. His head of security nods at his men to not let him go and carry him if they have to. 

“No, no, no!”

Wonwoo thrashes from their hold as he screamed for them to let him go. He can hear his security speaking to his mic to prepare the vehicle that would transfer him to safety but in that second all men drop to the ground and shield him when an ear-splitting clap suddenly reverberates through the walls.

A gunshot was fired.

Meanwhile, you were brought to the top floor of the hospital at one of the private rooms reserved for the members of the Royal Family when you insisted on staying. Jeongyeon and the rest of your security detail were more than distressed at your stubbornness, fearing for the earful they’re going to get once this is all over. But they would rather have that than leave you and neglect their duty.

“Your Highness, we really have to go,” Jeongyeon reiterates, still trying to convince you while shaking your shoulders. 

You shake your head and avoid her eyes. “No, we can’t just leave the people here. We can’t leave…” you pause then whisper softly, “Wonwoo.”

Jeongyeon nods. “I know, I know. But the Royal Police are on their way and the Prince’s security detail is already with him. The two of you cannot stay here any longer. It’s an order from His Majesty.”

You swallow the lump on your throat. You can’t think. You can’t process whatever the hell is ensuing downstairs. The lives of innocent people, your innocent people, are at stake. 

You just can’t leave. You have to do something. 

“We’re not leaving this hospital until those armed men are immobilized.”

Jeongyeon wishes to plead further but all you hear was ringing when the sound of what you’ve been fearing the most resonated inside the room. 

Security scrambles and moves at a speed of light to protect you with their bodies. They were screaming among themselves but you fail to register what they’re saying. You fail to hear nor see your surroundings.

Everything became a blur.

Everything became nothing as your heart beated a thousand times faster than normal and the only person running through your mind is no one else but the Prince who was beside you just last night but is now in imminent danger.

Please, Wonwoo. Please.

“Their Majesties condemns the hostage taking that occurred at the Royal Hospital,” Prime Minister Lee starts, looking straight at the camera. “Their Majesties assures and promises the public that they will be held accountable for the crime they have committed but most importantly for the distress and trauma they have caused the patients. They commend the prompt action that the Hospital’s Security and Royal Police have taken resulting in no casualties.”

“Prime Minister Lee!” A reporter raises their hand. “Can you confirm that His and Her Highness Jeon Wonwoo and Y/N were at the hospital when the hostage took place?”

“Yes,” he answers, “Her Highness, Princess Y/N, was admitted to the hospital yesterday after fainting at her office…”

You switch the TV off with the remote before throwing it on the couch. You walk to the window with crossed arms and watch the Royal Police vehicles leave one by one after clearing the Emergency Room and declaring it safe. It’s now back to its normal operations. 

Apparently, the gunshot was fired by the police, wounding one of the hostage takers. They took advantage of that distraction to finally hold them down and arrest them right away. There’s no official statement from the Royal Police yet as they are still investigating further. You make a commitment to get to the bottom of this.

They’re gone now.

But Wonwoo is still unheard of. 

He’s safe, they told you. But that didn’t stop you from biting your nails, walking back and forth and pulling your hairs from the roots. You need to see him. 

“Your Highness,” Jeongyeon calls for you and your head snaps up. She gives you a small smile before opening the door she’s holding wider.

Wonwoo enters with a tired smile and you almost burst into tears. You ran to him as fast as you could, but your legs were weakened by worry, you almost fell. It’s a good thing Wonwoo meets you halfway and catches you in his arms. 

You take every tangible thing about him. You take and you take as you hold his waist tightly and bury your face to his chest. “You can’t do that to me.”

Wonwoo sighs in content upon breathing in your scent and hearing your voice. He wraps his one arm around your waist while the other holds your head gently. He stays silent and just holds you for as long as he desires. After the horror that transpired earlier, holding you like this is what he desperately needed. 

“Let’s get you home, Princess.”

[mithliya]

I always really love the advice you give people on here so I hope you can help me too. I have some weird issues with food where I only have very few foods I fell comfotable eating and anything else (or anything that I did not prepare my self) makes me nervous. This hasn't been an issue for a few months now but now it is getting to the point where I get panic attacks when I eat at my uni cafeteria for example and I don't really know how to deal with that because I don't want to have a phase where I only eat mashed potatoes for a month again.

Another thing is; I have a friend whom I am kinda close with who got diagnosed with some stomach issue and is now super limited in what he can eat. I kind of want to offer him to talk to me about it because I know what it is like to be so limited in your food choices, but I don't really know how to breach that topic and let him know that I kind of understand what it is like without making the conversation all about my mental health you know?

I just always really love yout insights so I was wondering what you would do in my shoes, and I also hope you have a great day <3

oh.. what you have sounds like selective eating disorder / avoidant restrictive food intake disorder. if you can you should totally go to a therapist and get it checked out bc as a disorder it can advance further and make ur diet so precise and specific to the point where it can be deadly (due to u becoming seriously underweight or facing malnutrition due to food anxieties). ik that sounds rly scary but that’s the worst case scenario and seeking some kind of clarity and help on it is a good preventative measure esp since many such disorders are treatable if addressed

and i think it wouldn’t be too difficult to open up while encouraging him to speak to you on his similar struggle! honestly i find that when im vulnerable and open with people, they seem to also be open and vulnerable in return & to feel more comfortable around me in general. id just be like “oh god that must be really tough. i have a similar issue, it’s not the same but i have this psychological/mental issue that makes me really struggle to eat most foods. it can be so stressful to have to worry about and fixate on food in that way, don’t you think?” or something of the sort. showing that you’re willing to discuss your issues openly imo can encourage others to feel comfortable being open about their issues too. starting off with a discussion about it often does result in people discussing their personal experiences and struggles and who knows, it may end in your friend perceiving you as someone who has shown herself to be open to hearing about this struggle & willing to understand it. i have a food problem myself in the sense that i get anxiety around it which results in me throwing up and being selective of when and where i eat, and i found that bringing it up when i learn ppl deal with sth similar doesn’t end up being a big talk about me but rather us sharing the similarities and differences in our struggles with eating / food.

[thisissirius]

so apparently my brain needed to write this before it could write anything else. it’s not the kind of fic i want to attach to a prompt so i’m posting it as is. 

some things to note; this is extremely personal to my situation right now. i write to deal with my feelings and that’s what this is. i’m okay, i promise. or at least i’m getting close to okay. but i’m working on it! 

i will not be offended if you don’t want to read :)

it’s an open ending because i don’t know the ending to my own story but in my head, he beats it <3

(i researched this because obvs i am female and eddie is not)

be my help eddie/buck, cancer

“I think you might have an infection.” Buck’s nose wrinkles as he frowns and Eddie traces the lines of it. He doesn’t want to look at the wound, at what it represents. Buck’s fingers are light as he puts on the new bandage. “Though the inflammation is here,” he continues, thumb grazing the skin around Eddie’s nipple. “It feels warm. Does it hurt?”

Eddie shakes his head. “Not really. There’s been blood a couple of times but I assumed it was from the wound.”

With another nod, Buck finishes dressing the wound. There’s a tightness to his mouth that spells a research binge—and possibly a call to the doctor—but Eddie’s content to let him handle it. “All done.”

“Thanks,” Eddie says, curling his fingers around Buck’s wrist. He runs a thumb over Buck’s pulse point. “For everything.”

Buck’s cheeks tinge pink, but he looks pleased. “You’re welcome. Come on, Chris’ll be home soon and there’s still dinner to do.”

Eddie can’t forget about the inflammation; 

Buck’s frown gets progressively more pronounced with every passing day, and Eddie’s starting to feel it. His skin is warm, there’s been spotty blood on his shirts, and it looks puffy and inflamed. It’s not until Eddie takes off his shirt one night to get ready for bed and sees just how swollen it is, that he ends up calling for Buck. 

It’s been a few days since Buck’s stayed over; he’s taking extra shifts because Eddie’s struggling with finances—and if Eddie thinks about that too much, he’ll feel sick with guilt—and he looks tired when he stands in the doorway. When his eyes rise to Eddie’s nipple, his face shifts into shock and a touch of horror. “Fuck.”

“It’s only been like this yesterday and today,” Eddie says, because he doesn’t want Buck to think he missed it. “I don’t think it’s an infection.”

Buck hums and steps forward. “It could be,” but he doesn’t sound certain. “We should take you to the emergency room.”

Eddie doesn’t really want to. “Buck—”

“Eddie,” Buck says. There’s something in his voice, his face, that makes Eddie take notice. “Trust me, I think we need to get a doctor’s opinion.”

“Chris,” Eddie says, searching for something to keep them here, safe in his home. 

Buck doesn’t look happy when he says, “We’ll take him with us.” Eddie opens his mouth to answer, to say something else, but he stops short at the tremble in Buck’s tone. “Please, Eddie. I think this is something we need to get checked out.”

Eddie sits. And sits. And sits.

Chris is asleep on Buck’s lap. He’s tucked under Buck’s chin, breath even, and Eddie can’t help but rest a hand on his leg. Buck’s talking in a low voice, information Eddie’s not really taking in, but it’s soothing. The emergency room is always horrible, no less when it’s personal instead of work related, and he leans more heavily into Buck. 

“Alright?” Buck asks, trailing off. “I’m sure it won’t be much longer.”

Three has given way to five, and Eddie’s got no doubt they’ll still be sitting here at seven in the morning. He’s glad neither of them are working, but Buck’s gotta be dead tired. “You should go home.”

Buck’s eyebrows shoot into his hairline and Eddie only realises what that implies when the words are out. “Eddie—”

“No,” Eddie says, shaking his head. “I meant you don’t have to be here, now, when you could be sleeping.”

Expression softening, Buck’s lips quirk into a tired smile. “I wouldn’t be able to settle. I’d be worried about you.”

Eddie’s chest goes tight with emotion and he smiles back. Something feels different between them since the shooting, but he can’t pinpoint what it is. Maybe it’s the loss of Ana from his life; Eddie knows Buck wasn’t happy for whatever reason. Breaking up with her had been easy after that because Buck’s happiness means everything. 

“Edmundo Diaz?”

“Come on,” Buck says gently, readjusting Chris, who makes a soft noise. “Let’s get you checked out.”

“Breast cancer,” Eddie repeats. “I thought—”

Silence. 

“I thought it was women,” he admits. “I didn’t think it could happen to men.”

To me is what he means. 

Buck’s hand is the only thing tethering him to the moment, fingers tight in Eddie’s. He looks calm, calmer than Eddie thinks he should. “What stage?”

Eddie swallows. “You knew?”

“Suspected,” Buck says, looking guilty. Eddie squeezes his hand. He’s not really sure what his emotions are doing, but he needs to make sure Buck’s okay. One of them needs to be. “I went online and I know I shouldn’t look,” he says, more to the doctor than to Eddie, “but it seemed too far from the wound to be related.”

“Perhaps not unrelated,” the doctor says. His voice is calm, almost soothing, and Eddie hates it, though he can’t pinpoint why. Maybe he’s trying not to wake Chris, but Eddie suspects it’s more that he doesn’t want to spook Eddie. Fuck. “It’s true that we don’t always know what causes cancer—”

“I don’t care,” Eddie says. His voice sounds far away. “Can it—like Buck said, what stage?”

The doctor looks at him and is silent for long enough that Eddie can feel whatever stability he’s got left spiralling away. “If it is cancer, which we’re not completely sure of, it will be stage three or four; advanced because of the symptoms, but still treatable.”

Eddie drops Buck’s hand to press the palms of his hands to his eyes. There’s a burn in his eyes, something heavy settling in his stomach. He can hear Buck talking, feel the hand on the back of his neck, but it’s almost as if he’s not in the room. “I want to go home.”

“I know,” Buck says softly, stroking a hand down Eddie’s back. To the doctor he says, “thanks. You’ll let us know about the appointments?”

The moments slip away from him; he doesn’t remember leaving the office, or getting into the car. Doesn’t know how he and Chris both end up strapped in and moving; he can feel the gear shifts, the radio playing softly. Chris is snorting in the back seat, and Buck’s breathing seems oddly loud in the truck; maybe it’s Eddie—he doesn’t feel as if he’s there. 

“What am I gonna do,” he says, breathless. 

Buck reaches over, hand on Eddie’s thigh. “You can fight this.”

Eddie’s eyes burn again and he turns away, glances in the rearview mirror. “What am I supposed to tell Chris?”

A pause. Buck’s fingers squeeze. “We’ll figure it out together, okay?”

“Buck,” Eddie says, and even to his own voice he sounds wrecked. “I can’t—”

Buck pulls over, shifts into park and leans over, hand to Eddie’s face. “Listen to me,” he says, foreheads touching. Eddie closes his eyes and hangs on. “I’ll be here every second, okay? I promise, Eddie, whatever happens, we’ll get through it.”

The fatalistic part of Eddie thinks it can’t be that easy but the rest of him wants to lean on Buck, to take the comfort he’s offering. “If it’s cancer—”

“Then you’ll look over treatment, figure out what you want, and we’ll tackle it like we do everything else.” Buck’s thumb runs over Eddie’s cheek. “I’ve got your back, Eddie.”

Eddie lets out a shaky breath, leans into Buck. He can still hear Chris in the back seat. He knows there’s so much left unknown, but he’s got Buck, right here, and together they’ll protect Chris. He knows even if he does—if they can’t—if anything happens, Buck’s got Chris. 

“Stop it,” Buck says, running his thumbs under Eddie’s eyes. He’s wiping away tears and Eddie blinks, surprised; he’s not sure when they started. “You can fight this.”

“Okay,” Eddie whispers, because he desperately wants to believe he can. His mouth forms the words before his brain can catch up and stop them, “I’m scared.”

Something in Buck’s expression breaks, but he presses forward, touching their foreheads together. “I know, Eds. It’s okay to be, but I promise, no matter what, I’m gonna be here.”

Eddie swallows around the lump in his throat, leans into Buck’s touch on his cheek, the fingers curling around the back of his neck. “Promise?”

“Yeah,” Buck says without hesitation, his voice low and husky. “I promise.”

Kissing the corner of Buck’s mouth is easy. Turning his face into Buck’s neck is even easier. Listening to the thump of Buck’s heartbeat, the words of comfort and promise Buck whispers in his ear makes even the darkest thoughts in his head quieten down. 

“I’ve got you,” Buck promises. 

“I know,” Eddie says, and he means it.

[npfehr]

Recently Completed: Ghost Song [PC]

This is a side-scrolling action-adventure game in which you play as a mysterious person in a futuristic suit of armor, trying to uncover the secrets of a diseased moon. Along the way you will see eerily beautiful things, meet some of the best-written NPCs I've seen in a game like this, and you will probably get frustrated at least a couple of times.

I backed this game on Kickstarter in 2013(!), and waited patiently for its release, eagerly reading each development update as the tiny indie team worked, worked, then completely rebooted and started again midway through. When it finally came out nine years later I played it for just under an hour and wandered off, I think because I was in the middle of something even more exciting at that particular moment.

Last year I picked it up again and started making Let's Play videos for my YouTube channel with it. It really clicked this time and I found myself loving the sound design and gameplay, eagerly waiting to get a chance to record another video so I could continue playing.

In keeping with the long dev cycle of the game, my video series was also taking an extremely long time to make and I was perhaps two-thirds of the way through the game when my personal situation changed. Cancer, stage 3, serious, but treatable.

At this time of writing I haven't started treatments yet, but I knew that I wouldn't be able to finish and upload my videos before they began. I didn't want to stretch an already long project even longer, and I don't believe I'll have the time or energy to make and edit videos in the midst of it. Also, if I'm being completely honest, I know the treatments will change my physical appearance, and I didn't want to track those changes through successive videos in the series.

So I decided to be grateful rather than sad about the work I'd put in thus far -- I used DaVinci Resolve for this project and learned a lot! -- and decided to cancel the videos and finish the game on my own time. The original Kickstarter listing had the game subtitled "A Journey of Hope" and that's, I guess, what I'm on now.

Anyway, the game! It looks great, plays well, feels alien and weird the way a good Metroid should, and takes some of my least favorite design cues from Soulslikes. The bosses can be frustrating and corpse runs are not my favorite things to do. I see complaints about game padding and movement speed, but it's not so bad. Play it with a good set of headphones for the terrific soundtrack and sound design, and talk to everyone you meet as much as you possibly can.

Play it!!

Ghost Song pretty and also spooky

[razzle-zazzle]

Whumptober Day 10: Oops, I did it again

Hospital + "Flare Up"

1264 Words; Raised by Serpentine, early Legacy of the Green Ninja

TW for mentions of death

Cole hadn’t been up on the surface long. Just long enough to slay the Devourer and train with the ninja for a bit.

But everything had been great! Devourer and Pythor aside, Cole was glad to be out of the tomb. There was food, here, and light and warmth and safety.

That didn’t mean there wasn’t an adjustment period, though.

Growing up in a tomb had left Cole woefully underprepared for everything outside it. The information, the weather, the technology—it was all beyond what anyone in the Constrictai tomb really had access to during those two and a half centuries, and as a result was almost dizzying in its complexity.

Fog and rain and snow and even sandstorms were wholly unfamiliar at first, but Cole could adjust. Complex pieces of technology like cell phones and video games were harder to adjust to, but Cole was determined to adapt.

Medicine was another matter entirely.

Cole knew illness. He knew, almost intimately, of quarantine rules and a clean infirmary full of people dying from a sickness they had no cure for. He knew of coughs that spread, of aches that worsened until the person bearing them could barely move.

Cole knew of basic medicine, of some of the techniques Vera and Sutara and Dreska would use to lesson symptoms and treat causes—

But the part of illness with which Cole was most familiar, after years of growing up in a tomb too small to stop outbreaks so much as slow them down—was the people he cared about, the people he was supposed to lead and protect one day, meeting their end.

It was what someone falling ill usually meant—maybe they’d survive, but more likely than not all that could be done in the tomb was making the rest of their life less painful.

But here on the surface, things were different.

Cole didn’t understand it. Vera probably did—he remembered she and Sutara excitedly pouring over medical texts lifted from a library shortly after Pythor opened the tomb—but to Cole sickness was sickness. A common cold could be survived with enough rest and care, but the weeping cough that his mother brought back from the caves?

Either you caught it or you didn’t, and if you caught it then your only chance of surviving was if you were immune.

But immunity didn’t mean you couldn’t spread it.

Cole needed to stop forgetting that.

+=+=+=+=+

It started with Jay.

Just a small cough, nothing major, easily treated with cough drops and decongestant.

The watery, irritated eyes and aching legs were another matter, though. But Jay assumed it was a new variant of the flu—the symptoms seemed to change every season—combined with some particularly unpleasant seasonal allergies, and so quietly let Wu know he was feeling under the weather, and was granted a bit of rest time.

And then Kai developed similar symptoms.

He was much more vocal about it.

+=+=+=+=+

Cole froze as Kai complained about the symptoms at the dinner table.

“That sounds a lot like weeping cough.” He commented, eyes not leaving his plate.

Everyone else was looking at him, now, the pressure of their stares demanding an explanation.

So Cole explained. How his parents had gone spelunking in search of much-needed resources. How his mother had returned, died from broken stitches, and then the outbreak followed soon after.

Cole’s hands were shaking by the time he was done.

Sensei Wu hummed, stroking his beard. “It would seem the best course of action, then, would be to visit a hospital.” He stated, “Most of the symptoms Cole described should be treatable, but it would be best to get an expert involved in treating the root cause.”

“Cole,” Zane began, “Clearly the weeping cough didn’t kill everyone in the tomb. Was there a particular treatment that caused this?”

Cole swallowed. “Not that I know of. Some people caught it but showed no symptoms, and some really lucky fuckers avoided catching it altogether.” He closed his eyes to try and remember something, “I think I remember Vera saying something about… ‘genetic differences providing immunity’. Could be remembering wrong, though.”

Zane nodded, parsing the information. “I think Sensei Wu is right. A hospital visit is in order.”

“Are we sure this won’t just blow over?” Kai asked, accidentally bumping Lloyd’s plate as he reached for his drink.

The ten year old stuck his tongue out at Kai, but largely remained uninvolved in the conversation.

Cole bristled. “Weeping cough doesn’t just blow over, Kai.” He took a breath, shoulders relaxing, “If it does then you’re already dead.”

Jay dropped his fork, the silverware clattering against his plate.

Everyone was staring at Cole.

“Okaaay…” Nya interjected, “Let’s just stop arguing and get Jay and Kai to the hospital.”

“Yeah,” Jay nodded, “Let’s do that please.”

+=+=+=+=+

Hours later, Nya and Lloyd found Cole sitting anxiously in the back corner of the waiting room.

“I don’t like hospitals.” Cole said as they approached, having made this decision from the second he’d entered the place, and the feeling had only intensified when the doctors pulled him aside to ask him questions upon questions and run a blood test.

“Hospitals suck.” Lloyd agreed, settling into the chair next to Cole with an unopened chocolate bar in his hands, which he promptly unwrapped and began eating. “The food’s the only good thing about them.” He added around the bite of chocolate he was currently working on.

Nya took the seat to Lloyd’s other side, wincing. “They’re definitely expensive.” She commiserated. “First Master knows how many times Kai and I would treat injuries on our own just to avoid the costs of visiting one.” She leaned back, “That, and there wasn’t really a proper hospital in Ignacia for the longest time.”

Cole nodded numbly, pulling his legs up and hugging his knees close.

Silence reigned but for the crinkle of the candy wrapper.

“Wonder where Wu’s wandered off to…” Nya mused, to break the silence if nothing else.

Cole didn’t particularly care where Wu had gone, or that Zane had gone with him. He just wanted to leave this place that was too clean and too hopeless and too familiar all at once.

Lloyd finished off the chocolate bar, looked around, and then walked over to the nearest trash can to discard the wrapper before returning.

Silence reigned once again.

Lloyd kicked at his seat. “This is boring.” He complained, turning to Nya. “Will Kai and Jay be okay?”

“I…” Nya sighed. “I hope so. The doctor said they’d get in contact with Ouroboros about it.”

Cole tensed.

“’M sorry.” He mumbled.

“Cole,” Nya said, reaching over Lloyd to put her hand on his shoulder, “You’ve got nothing to apologize for.”

Cole snorted. “I was the one who spread it.” He scowled. “I was the idiot who didn’t say anything about the possibility—”

“Everyone forgets things, Cole, I’m not going to begrudge you for that.” Nya shot back, “And you blaming yourself isn’t going to help them.”

Cole curled up tighter.

“Kai and Jay will live.” Lloyd declared, crossing his arms. “They’re not allowed to die.”

Nya chuckled, ruffling Lloyd’s hair. “See Cole? They’ll pull through.”

Cole uncurled by the slightest amount. “I guess.” He conceded, though he didn’t sound very believing.

Nya’s lips pursed. “Besides,” she ventured, “no disrespect for your healers, but you couldn’t have had as many medical resources in the tomb as we have here. So Kai and Jay’s chances are a lot better than they would be where you grew up.”

Cole hummed noncommittally, but uncurled a little bit further.

Nya could accept that.